How Bad do You Want IT?!??

Special thanks to Gabriel @ twitter.com/Kabote_G

Please listen. Please just listen to the words.

Don’t play it safe!!!

Life’s too short. I don’t believe in the traditional mindset or view of how I should comport myself. I hate the fact that some people think they know how to conduct my life better than I do.

Image credit: “safe” – © 2007 Paul Keller – made available under Attribution 2.0 Generic

 

One of the greatest inspirational speakers ever! Listen

When does the dream end?

I wrote a song called Lucid Dream finished it late last year but never really shared it with anyone. It’s because I’ve become very conflicted with this song. It’s called Lucid Dream. It’s about shaping this life to fit your imagination and desired plans, purpose……….

I don’t know if I feel that way nowadays. So much is out of control, so much is given to misfortune or good fortune, sometimes it feels like you just prepare for the best and plan for the worst- that’s it………………………………………..

I hate these type of thoughts! Maybe I hate reality LOL! Is that what it all comes down to? “Hope for the best pray for the worst?” It’s real. But what are most of us doing to increase our chances at success or economic repair? I believe our capability as humans is far reaching and I know of history’s luminaries and the not so illustrious who have succeeded after years of failure. But sometimes, sometimes….sometimes……………………………………………………..you just need time to recharge.
Here’s the song for those who stumble upon this page.

Lyrics

I live ina lucid dream feel the breeze as I venture/
through a blurry scene/
autonomy in this dimension/
I see it all clear with eyes closed/
I forego the drudgery the monotony the panicking hypocrisy/
No more violence just a silencing/
As I stroll through the peace/
The quiet ambiance my transport till I find my release/
I can touch the cosmos celestial bodies without angel wings/
TO think they can say my visions are the stuff that’re made of make believe/
mabye that’s why they sleep on me and do not see me seriously/
Lend ears to the blind, hearts to the frauds and try to live vicariously/
Me I’m in the twilight while they all wonder wearily with my head in the clouds throught turbulent skies as the music carries me/
Away from the trance at the hands of the sand man, I dream but I don’t sleep/
I view a plane to sustain my glance, control my destiny/
I do it all before silent night/
I fit the world to my insights/
The saddest part about most of y’all /
most of yall will never try….

2nd Verse

I see 4 walls one ceiling one floor there’s no clocks but one door nobody knows where I’ve gone/

Time waves every second/

Calender pages leave men breathless/

But in my mind the world stretches/

I can raise my reach to heaven/

I await the noble thief, body-snatcher that brings me peace/

The accomplice to my escape, my only hope a lucid dream/

Gives me patience when there’s no ventillation for me to breath/

See there’s no suffocation where I go, room for inhalation where I’ll be/

In a stratosphere where hatred and fear will no long surround me/

And I no longer have to swim with zombies and feel like I am drowning!/

There’s more light than heat, there’s more signal than noise/

If you can hear the shrill calling then I welcome you to join/

My brother told me no man is an island but I avoid the adage/

and I challenge the orthodoxy of the norm/

The unknown doesn’t scare me I’m still alive through the storm/

My eyes dry by the fire that burns/

I climb high altitudes to find my way home/

Oh No I’m still here. I missed out on the Biggest Bailout of the Century. Holy Shit!

I stopped blogging in anticipation for this day. I don’t want to be destroyed in the final battle.  I don’t want to be thrust into the lake of fire. Alas, my greatest fears have crystallized……I’ve been left behind!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Here, this guy Xenocrates explains why the rapture failed.

One of the realest posts ever.

People underestimate the crack epidemic on the black community and the ramifications of negligent drug policies. Here Killer Mike aka Mike Bigga breaks down the harsh realities of having a mother, a guardian, a relative addicted to a powerful substance. Through it all he was able to make it through and become successful at something few people could hope to achieve. That’s why I was always a fan of the dungeon family, killer Mike(Mike Bigga) OUtkast, goodie Mob et al. They represent the true story of Atlanta, and to a greater extent, the human experience of people. They form a collective of talented individuals with unique styles and talents but still represented Hip-Hop to the fullest. One could listen to Mike, Outkast, goodie mob, cee-lo and them and get a feel for the south. Now we got these ………………….oh never mind just read the post. I promise a well-written and inspirational read to those who do. Peace.

My Thoughts on Mothers, Sons, Love & Addiction by Mike Bigga

That B.B. King lyric cuts deep! I grew up in the crack era. I grew up
�in the actual crack era, not the one you always hear rappers rap about
where they were all rich and knew Pablo, Papi, Hector or some other
random Spanish name that fits to make the bar rhyme.

Bullshit, BTW.

I grew up watching men and women fall from descent, working viable
people to zombie-like shells of themselves. I watched TV as former
President Reagan and his self-righteous wife said, “Just say no,” and
created the false “drug war” that was really just a war on Black boys
and men, the poor and the addicted.

In the “trap” we called these unlucky people who suffered from the
illness of addiction J’s (short for junkies). As the CIA and Reagan’s
man Oliver North allowed cocaine in the US (Iran-Contra), unskilled and
skilled labor jobs left the country and cocaine became the alternative
economy for urban areas. Little boys became household breadwinners and
lots of mothers became addicts.

Within these children, deep-seated cynicism began to creep in and
fester like a cancer. The drugs that turned once decent folks into
desperate sick addicts, willing to sacrifice what dignity they had in
exchange for a drug, had a parallel effect on the community; it turned
sellers into cynics void of compassion and sympathy. The same family
members you loved and would give you school money were now shells of
their former selves. 

I connected with Jay-Z’s music more because of a story he shared about his shooting brother on “You Must Love Me.”�
�Whenever I listened, I remember having my “bomb” (package of rocks)
stolen by a dear family friend, Eric. I can still smell the
gasoline-filled bottles I prepared as I sat at the stop sign waiting for
�the lights to go out in Eric’s mother’s house. I remember seeing his
mom and her live-in, mentally-challenged boarders and him go in the
house.

I remember Rodney “J,” a good and decent man once, now sadly just a
“J” walking up and asking me for a sack. I remember the puzzled look on
his face when he said, “Fat boi, what’s wrong? Why you ain’t smiling?
You’re always smiling.” 

Then, I remember the look as he noticed the smell of gas and saw the
four freshly filled bottles with gas and sugar in them and realized I
wanted PAY BACK! I saw a sadness in him like none I had ever seen from
him. He had known Eric had stolen from me and he knew I was gonna get
pay back. 

Rodney, in that moment, dropped the “J” and was just an older Black
man schooling an angry and misguided child. With all the moral fortitude
�he could muster he sternly said, “Fat Boi, what are you doing, man?
Son, you cannot do that.”

He told me there are innocent folks in there, and he reminded me that
�he, Eric and even my mom were sick. They all had the same disease and
one day I will look back at this and it will not be as important. He was
�right. That moment is below petty, and I was just a stupid, angry kid
about to throw my life away for 2k in drugs! 

I wish I could say that after Rodney took the cocktails and high
tailed it, all was good and I learned my lesson and became a better me. I
�didn’t. After Rodney took the gas-filled glass grenades, I waited on
Eric for two days, I caught him, and I beat him up pretty badly. I
dragged him the front yard for the neighborhood to see, and I wanted
every “J” to know you cannot steal from me. I wanted the other dealers
to see you will not take advantage of me. I did it in my mom’s front
yard because I knew, somewhere deep in me, she was involved. Her
addiction had made her party to this theft. I knew that I could not hit
her, so I punished Eric with all the 18-year-old strength I had.

I sent him away to DeKalb Medical broken and bleeding.

I left my humanity there in that yard alongside his blood. I left my
sympathy and compassion there, I abandoned my humanity. I killed part of
�me that day. I killed the boy that loved and trusted his mother. I
killed lil’ Michael who always honored Denise because I knew her
addiction and bipolar disorder would be the death of her and possibly me
�if I didn’t.

I am glad for the time God gave me a healthy, honorable and engaging
mother, even if it was only a few short years. I hope one day my
mother’s mental illness and the illness of disease will loose her from
their vise grip, but my self-defense is cynicism and in reality I doubt
it. I guess what I’m saying is I accept her. I know she is broken and
will more than likely die because her kidneys have failed and she now
lives only because of dialysis due to years of drug abuse and hard
living.

But she’s mine.

She is the mother I was given and I’m thankful for her regardless.
She’s my mother. She died for a few minutes while having me at 16, and
she says something of her got left on the other side, and all the
goodness she had left she put in me. So I’m fighting, girl, I’m fighting
�to foster that good and retain my humanity. It’s hard but I’mma do
this. I have to for her grandchildren, my children. I have to be fully
open to all emotions for them.

I cannot blame these folk for being fun-loving partiers; they like
the current users of X, oxy, syrup, etc. They had no idea what kind or
turmoil cocaine and crack would do. Cocaine was an atomic bomb that
wiped away our collective moral compass. If they were able to see
face-to-face 20 years ahead, maybe they would have opted out of the
80s/90s party scene. Maybe women like my mom, young business
owners/mothers would have put a lot more time into their biz and kids,
less into their friends and the social scene. Maybe, just maybe, my life
�and the lives of countless other early 30s folk would be different.

We used to watch The Cosby Show and envy those kids with two
�parents, dinners together, money without crime, fun without drugs. I am
�determined to forgive my mother for leading a wasteful life and get
back on the path of good with her. I am more determined to be a whole
human being for Malik, Aniyah, Pony Boy and Michael.

Kids of the ‘80s and ‘90s, it’s time to forgive and let go.

We have to be what our generation’s adults were not. We gotta be more
�like the Cosby’s and less like us rappers. We have to reclaim our
humanity by releasing this hate that is in us and being open to love.
Love your people—imperfections and all. I forgive my mother, not for
hurting me or my sisters and her own mom and dad, I forgive her for
hurting herself. I know she’s still sick, I know it will probably be the
�death of her. I know she has betrayed me many times, but I also know
she loves me… and she ain’t jiving… she’s just sick. In honor of mothers
�and sons everywhere, people fighting with addictions keep fighting. You
�can win!

It’s Bigga.

Fin!

BONUS: “All for You (Niecy’s Song)” [Produced by Cool & Dre] Off Monster, 2003

Post 9-11

Image via Wikipedia

[Shit I forgot to post this. I was gonna post this on 9/11 forgot to but I saved it on my computer.] I can never forget. 3,000 died 300, million traumatized. Airplanes glide where no bombs could. That was just some random writing I did. I remember I was at my 1st period class Current Affairs sitting in disbelief of what I was witnessing on the news. Then I remember the rumors and the murmuring throughout the hallways on my way to 2nd period. By 2nd period we knew it was not some aviation malfunction, but a coordinated effort; it was definitely a terrorist attack. The rest of the day was filled with shock and horror before it came to anger and vindictiveness.I remember the event like it was yesterday. It’s times like these that force you to remember. Maybe it was the helplessness you felt as an unwilling spectator, maybe it was the evil that day which frightened you out of your mind, or maybe the attacks changed the way you viewed the world and the security of America. Whatever it was I hope you can all remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for others. But my greatest memory after the attacks was the resiliency of the American people. It seemed for a time that there was no stronger bond, and a unity I’d never witnessed before. Everyone had American flags and seemed to forget all the silly trivial things that tend to divide people in a pluralistic society. That was the light in a dark tunnel, the flare in a cloud of smoke to me. That was America at her greatest and most beautiful. I still remember it like it was yesterday.

RIP TUPAC

RIP TUPAC

This post makes me sad typing it. I remember I was in the car being driven to school by my mother I was 14. I was trying so hard not to cry in front of her when they announced on the radio that Tupac died. I succeeded in not crying in front of her, but ended up crying myself to sleep for another week or so. I’m 26 and I feel that same feeling right now lol. Why? I don’t know. I guess it’s a lot like when you lose someone you know and love. That person left you with memories, love, inspiration, and impressions. When you loose a loved one, it’s hard to get over the heartbreak because you know there will never be another one. The same can be said for some popular public figures. Tupac was one of these people. Someone most of his fans never met, but still felt and loved. His presence on the microphone contributed to his aura and his passion made him the object of admiration by listeners of hip hop music the world over. You could sense his anger and desperation in his music, his frustration with the world; at times you could also sense his hopelessness and madness. But you could also see his love for his people and his community. Tupac was a very conscientious individual who felt a range of emotions most MC’s and people in general rarely express. Pac wanted peace in an unjust and violent, cruel, world. It was him against the world. And this world finally caught up to him on September 13, 1996 when he was tragically gunned down at the age of 25. But his memory still lives on through his lyrics and his music. Here are some of the songs that stand out the most to me and illustrate why he is one of the greatest figures Hip Hop has ever known.

I like the Nas version of this song, but I like this version a lot better. This is my favorite Pac song.

You will be missed.

Image via Wikipedia

Quran burning man backs down for now…

I’m glad that Yosemite sam mustache-wearing-burning-the-quran-man backed down from displaying his hypocrisy and religious intolerance towards other people.

You can’t talk about religious intolerance and go burn someone Else’s holy book. But let me make it clear, he has the right to burn it if he wants to. The Constitution grants him the right to burn the flag if he wants to. Many people burn the flag, and he has the right to burn the quran, the bible, whatever. He claims the cancellation comes not from a change of heart but the decision made to move the Islamic center away from ground zero. I guess they’ll move it to a place where it won’t bother those opposed to the building afterall. Whatever.

Well I’m glad Terry Jones didn’t burn those books, because I didn’t want to get on here and say all sorts of horrific things about him. I glad I’m not going to have to write anything I might regret. But we’ll see about this ‘mosque,’ situation. I’m only following this stuff because it affects all of us. If the liberties we take for granted can be erased or made obsolete because of mob-rule then we really aren’t free. Moderate religious people, nonbelievers, and others are caught up in this war between extremists and we must do our part to stop these crazy people before they destroy us all. Oh well, enough bitching. I just wanted to write about this little update lol. I got wind of the news right when I was about to start my verbal assault on Yosemite Sam.

Take care.
Read further if you want to here:
More News

Read more: http://www.myspace.com/africanorigins/blog#ixzz0z9vbLeb6

No No No No NOT A MOSQUE!!!

Wow this must be part of the “War on Terror”??? LOL

Anyone who’s been watching the news knows there has been a public uproar over the proposal to build a mosque at Ground Zero. Many proponents of the edifice declare it isn’t even a mosque, but an Islamic cultural center just like there are Jewish cultural centers already in NYC. I am not Muslim or Christian or Hindu or religious at all, but I was once a devout christian. I mean I went to church 2 to 3 times a week in hopes of worshiping and glorifying my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But now, I haven’t been to church in almost 5 years. I think religion should be left to individual choice and preference, but I don’t believe in any religion. I have no religious affiliation, or divine belief what so ever. I mean I think there could be a god, like a god that is energy or matter. I believe in the possibility of a god that is the universe, but I don’t believe in a god that talks to you and listens to your problems or the world’s problems. It’s too bad other people don’t see the need to respect others rights and freedom to worship as they please. Or I should say they selectively recognize the liberties and freedoms granted to us by the Constitution. Opponents of the “mosque,” say they’re not against Muslims just their place of worship. As if Islam is responsible for terrorism. Many of these people fear and hate Islam but won’t say it. But it is implicit within their speech and their actions. I say religious extremism is responsible for terrorism not Islam. I can’t help but see tribalism involved in this dispute. Here watch this little video:

This is an attack on Islam

And it’s display of religious hypocrisy. As we all know there is also currently a child abuse scandal involving catholic preachers. Should we all rally against churches built within a miles radius? Children are getting anally raped in a church somewhere out there, where are the protests? Where are the moral outcries? The KKK were purportedly Christian, and committed some of the most heinous crimes in American history! But they still exist, they have the right to still march in the street. The KKK has the right to proclaim their beliefs under the Constitution. I respect the Constitution. Here listen to this guy tell it only like he can; Ron Paul take it away:


Ron Paul for president!

I leave you with this quote:

1 John

4:20&21 If a man say , I love God and hateth his brother, he is a

liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he

love God that he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from Him,

that he who loveth God loveth his brother also.